If you’re searching for happiness, trust me – you’ll never find it.
Name the core value of American culture. Let me guess… You said one of the following:
- The American Dream (life)
- Freedom (liberty)
- The pursuit of happiness
I would say some of the same things. But what I didn’t know up until the last year is that other countries around the world offer the same qualities – if not more.
Now, let me preface all this with a disclaimer. I’m American through and through. When I left the United States on November 6, 2021, I thought I’d always return to the “best country in the world.”
But the truth is – Every country has its positives and negatives. Every nation has its problems, its cultural battles, its bureaucracy and corruption. But you have to discover each for yourself which makes you happiest.
How do you know if you were born in Chicago that the Windy City is the place for you? High taxes, high murder rate, cold winters…
There are plenty of other cities out there. Not just in the U.S. but around the world where you’d be 10x happier.
Is it worth the hassle to move? For 10x happiness??? You shouldn’t have to think twice.
But for some reason, we balk.
Think about it. If you’re born in the States, you have on average 76.1 years to live – a number that continues to … checks notes … decrease! Why would you purposely spend any of that precious time in a setting where you know you’re not happy?
And before you say you’re thrilled with your life, take a deep hard look at yourself. There’s a huge difference between being content and being happy.
The “pursuit” of happiness is dead
An utter and complete lie. A fable told you to you from the moment you were born to keep you miserable.
Work hard enough and achieve your goals, they say. Then and only then will you be happy.
Once you achieve this salary at work or get that fancy new car, you’ll be happy. Right?
Of course, happiness is much more complicated than that.
I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world over the past two years traveling the globe and meeting people from many cultures.
One thing is for certain – Happiness is a hell of a lot easier in some settings than others.
Happiness is almost entirely a factor of where you choose to be. (Yep, that’s going to ruffle some feathers 🤣)
A quick look at American culture
“Keeping up with the Joneses” means you’re constantly pursuing happiness. And you have to compete with others to …
- show off your newest gadgets,
- rake in the highest salary you can
- and reach for the most prestigious title in the corporate ladder
So why do we need to pursue happiness if we can simply make the choice to be happy in this moment?
The rat race. The never-ending hamster wheel. The hedonic treadmill, ”the tendency of humans to return to a stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life change.”
Once you’re on it, it’s hard to get off.
I quit my job in June 2021. I turned down a promotion and a $23k raise to start my own company, a lifelong dream.
People called me crazy. $75k is a lot of money two years out of school. You should accept it.
But what’s crazy is that when I hit my first $10k/month just one month after I quit, it didn’t feel any different.
Once I earned my first six figures just 10 months later, it didn’t feel any different.
Just numbers on a screen.
Money doesn’t make you happy. Things don’t make you happy.
The freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want with whoever you want wherever you want. That makes you happy.
So when I moved out of the country, I felt happiness for the first time.
- I learned a new language
- I built a sustainable business
- I hired employees to give me more time
- I fell in love with a girl that makes me feel alive
- I met inspiring entrepreneurs from around the world
So yes, it’s all a mirage. The pursuit of happiness is a lie. Once you get what you wanted, you’re no more happy than you were before.
So what’s the antidote?
What Latin culture has taught me
Latin culture in one word: Vibrant.
From the Sonoran Desert to Tierra del Fuego, Latinos exude warmth, hospitality and a passion for life.
Why?
Strong family ties:
One of my best friends here in Medellín is 23 years old and is in his last year of a systems engineering degree at a local university. He lives with his mom, grandma and two uncles in a 3-bedroom apartment.
And he shares a trundle bed with his mom…
Latino families are so close-knit. They hardly ever leave each others’ sides. And the matriarch plays a critical role in the family.
With such a focus on family ties, people put family over everything.
Lack of materialism:
Latinos place more value on experiences and relationships than on material possessions. One of the most stark differences I noticed immediately was how they decorate their homes. They don’t care about the frills!
Latinos are far happier surrounded by family than getting the latest iPhone.
The rat race does not exist here.
Walkability of their cities:
One of the many reasons America struggles with obesity is because of our car dependency. We don’t walk anywhere!
Most Latin American cities aren’t necessarily designed for pedestrians more than American cities are. But they have more public spaces, parks and sidewalks. And each barrio has everything its residents need to never leave – local markets with fresh fruit and veggies, schools, gyms, malls, etc.
So everyone can walk to their destination, instead of sitting in traffic just to get a gallon of milk.
The “pursuit of happiness” shouldn’t really be a pursuit at all.
Opt out of being “content.” Choose a setting that encourages happiness. Not one that makes you work to acquire it.
